How to install a new operating system without wanting to break things

I just installed OS X Mavericks. So far it seems pretty good but, like every other OS installation since the dawn of time, especially when you haven’t backed up, it was a pretty horrible experience. Progress bars and time estimations always have a tendency to hang and I’m convinced they’re the work of the devil, so here’s my guide to making any operating system installation as painless as physically possible.

  1. Set aside a minimum of 12 hours, preferably on a Sunday, when you know you won’t have anything else to do.
  2. Have a second screen around to Google stuff *in case* of catastrophe. Think of it as your lifeboat.
  3. Start to download the operating system.
  4. Grab a snack and something to drink. Tonight, I went for a chai latte and some chocolate lebkuchen.
  5. With the installation in your peripheral vision, lie down and think happy thoughts. Maybe watch some TV or stick some relaxing music on.
  6. When the download is complete, follow the instructions. Keep smiling at this point.
  7. As soon as the installer takes control and starts spitting progress bars and countdowns at you, cover the relevant sections of the screen. Ignorance is bliss. Don’t cover the whole screen, though. Let some peek through in case of minor catastrophe.
  8. Wait for the endless reboots to end. Stay patient. Return to the chai and lebkuchen supplies.
  9. Have one final blast of that relaxing playlist. It’s nearly over.
  10. Enjoy being the future.

It’s that simple.

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Author: Xavier Voigt-Hill

I write words.

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